Money Diaries: A Week of Spending with Freelance Writer and Theatre Professional Chiara Marcassa
Welcome back—and happy new year—to all our working artists! We’re thrilled to share our latest money diary from the Frankfurt-based artist Chiara Marcassa, who writes the Substack aesthetics of surplus and recently published her first book with windpark books. Our first international contributor was gracious enough to log for us a busy week of train travel, theatre, and working at Frankfurt International Airport this past November: a window into what it’s like to hack it as a creative in Europe.
P.S. If you’re interested in submitting a money diary of your own, our inbox is open: workingartist2000@gmail.com
I’ve been working as a professional, freelance artist since 2019, when I was 22. I did costume design for several performances and theater pieces, and I’ve been engaged as a performer by other artists while creating my own work as well in text and textile. In better times, I invoiced five figures a year in freelance work. Back then, I was a student of theatre studies at a German university, too. Luckily, I had received a scholarship1 amounting to over 1,000 € a month for the whole duration of my studies and it provided a privileged framework in which I could almost entirely focus on my artistic work: writing applications, drafting new work, amplifying my network and so on. This has been a rough year, though: partly because of cuts in the public funds and grants in Germany, and partly because of the end of my studies.
For the past year, I’ve been working several jobs simultaneously. My main occupation is at Frankfurt International Airport, where I work shifts as a check-in and gate agent. Although I only work between 100 and 125 hours a month, I go to the airport almost daily. The shift-plans are made month by month, and the shifts are 3 to 12 hours long, Mondays to Sundays, between 3 am and 11 pm. I went into this job straight after I finished my masters’ degree. It’s part time, which means that it also pays my health insurance and pension contributions–that’s the way it works here in Germany. These benefits were my main motivation to apply for the job: it gave me some sort of structure, a quick fix in times of uncertainty.
Furthermore, I have a so-called “Minijob” as a social worker for a Disabled client I assist for up to 30 hours a month. The income from this job rounds up the income from the airport, where I earn minimum wage. I live in a shared flat with my best friend, where my rent is roughly one third of the money I make every month. She’s an artist too and we’ve been living together since 2018. My boyfriend lives in a shared flat too, just a ten-minute subway ride away from my place and I make him visit me almost every day. I wish I could have my own flat or live with my boyfriend, but Frankfurt is in the middle of a housing crisis and it’s super expensive and stressful to find a place to live. In the week I’ll be keeping this money diary, I’ll be working freelance and at the airport. I won’t have any appointments with my client.
Monday, November 25
6AM - I wake up early to catch a train from Frankfurt to Berlin. It’s the ultimate commuters’ journey, almost 4 hours trip time nonstop, connecting the financial capital with the administrative capital of Germany. The laptop-to-passenger ratio of this train, which leaves Frankfurt at 8 and reaches Berlin at noon, is approaching 1. Everyone on this train is tipping and sipping (coffee). I also get a cappuccino (-4.90 €)2 from the restaurant coach, yet when I get back to my seat I fall asleep and keep on sliding in and out of sleep for the whole trip. 30 minutes before disembarking, I crawl back to the restaurant where I get a peppermint tea (-4 €) to warm myself up. I feel sedated, almost as if I’ve caught a cold. It’d be my fifth since the end of summer, which reminds me that I need to get my thyroid checked, for I suspect it’s malfunctioning yet again.
12PM - At Berlin Central I get a 4-ride-ticket for the subway (-10.80 €). The multiple-ride ticket is just slightly cheaper than four one-way tickets. I ride the subway to my friend O’s place, where I’ll crash during my short stay. Coincidentally, she’s the artist I’ve collaborated with on the book project I’m going to present this evening in a municipal theater. We’re going to read excerpts from the book, accompanied by ambient music, and an interview will take place there too. O’s not home, for she’s always working, but she left me a key at the kiosk next door. I know my way through this neighborhood, for I’ve been coming here regularly for almost ten years, which is how long we’ve known each other. When I get into her apartment on the 5th floor, I undress, eat pasta with broccoli and feta cheese (which I made earlier this morning and carried in a tupperware) and lay down to nap.
~3PM - I wake up with an impending sense of doom, so I leave the apartment to get a mochaccino and walk to a garden nearby (-5 €). The sky is gray (as usual) and on my walk I check out how many restaurants and shops have closed and been replaced since my last visit. After that, O comes home and together we get ready for the event. She buys me another coffee on the way to the subway, we travel to the theatre where we go through the schedule of the night. H, the moderator of the event, is also a friend of mine from uni, and the musician, A, is one of my best friends–we used to live together in a shared flat. I collaborate with close friends on many of my artistic projects, and it’s one of the things I like the most about working as an artist. Before the event begins, I sign my contract and invoice. I’ve been granted a fee of 150 € for this evening. I hope they’ll transfer the money soon, ideally by the end of the week.
8PM - The reading goes well: many friends sit in the audience and the venue is full. A few books get sold and I even get asked to sign them once or twice.
~10PM - My friends and I retreat to the canteen of the theatre where I buy two glasses of white wine, one for me and one for H (-7 €). We sit there until midnight and I’m the last to go home. I order an Uber back to the apartment (-8.99 €) because the subway is not running and I’m too exhausted to wait for the bus or walk.
12:35AM - I talk to my boyfriend on the phone and walk to a Turkish bakery to get a midnight snack. I have barely eaten anything the whole day. I want to get two “börek,” a savory puff pastry filled with feta cheese and spinach, but I don’t have enough cash and they don’t take cards, so I only get one (-1.70 €). I crawl into bed and fall asleep immediately, despite the room being freezing cold.
SPENDING: -42.39 €
INCOME: +150.00 €
Tuesday, November 26
10:40AM - I get up feeling exhausted and congested. I knock at my friend’s door and lay in her bed for ten minutes, where we debate whether to order food delivery or not. Eventually, we walk downstairs to get some Turkish food next door. I get beans with minced beef, rice and salad as well as an Ayran, a salty yoghurt drink (-12.50 €). After that, we grab a mochaccino. I hate to split the bill for coffee–it just feels gross to me–so I pay for both (-10 €). The cold I was starting to feel yesterday is flaring up, so we walk to the drugstore where I buy nose spray, throat pills and peppermint oil (-11.22 €, including a 10% discount from a coupon on the drugstore’s app). The sun is shining and I feel like it might heal me, so I decide to go for a walk around the block. I end up at the Maybachufer street market, where I walk by screaming vendors selling fruit and veggies, fabrics, housewares and gifts. I’m tempted to buy many things but I’m still not carrying any cash… as you might have noticed by now, it’s imperative to carry some cash in Berlin, since many stores and restaurants don’t take cards at all. I walk home talking to my boyfriend on the phone, then I proceed to scroll on social media and eventually fall asleep.
4:20PM - I wake up as it’s getting dark and O has already left for Switzerland, where she’ll have a gig tomorrow. As a full-time freelance artist, she’s constantly travelling for work. She’s always been a role model for me, her dedication and discipline inspire me up to this day. Yet, I sometimes wonder if I’m also made for this kind of life, never being home, always on the run. I feel anxious because I want to work, but my head feels stuffed and I can’t manage to write anything. Instead I shower (abundantly), listen to two podcasts and leave the house again to meet my friend L for dinner. Since I’ve left early, I decide to save a subway ride and walk for 50 minutes instead. We update each other on our lives over a bowl of noodle soup, smashed cucumber and a glass of pinot grigio. We split the bill, though she promises she’ll get the next one (-23.92 €). We walk to the theatre where she works and we sneak into the rehearsals of a play. A choir of 200 people is on stage, the orchestra is playing and I’m so touched by the beauty and atmosphere, the wall of sound, the beauty unfolding in front of my eyes and ears, that I start crying. Only a few of the 600 seats of the theatre are occupied–the director, his assistants and other staff members carefully surveilling the rehearsal. We sit way up, in the back, where nobody sees us. When the director announces a break, we leave. We take the subway together and say goodbye when I disembark. We might not see each other for months.
10PM - On my way home, I stop at T’s place–a friend who lives just around the corner–for a glass of red wine, a cookie and a chat. When we part, we make plans to meet on new year’s eve. The apartment I return to feels even colder now, like an empty cathedral, and I need a heating pad to fall asleep.
INCOME: +0.00
SPENDING: -57.64 €
Wednesday, November 27
7:30AM - I leave O’s apartment before the sun rises, make sure all faucets are off, the stove is turned off, and the door locked. I throw her key into the mailbox and myself into a subway wagon. I get a cappuccino (-3.20 €) at the subway station. A homeless man asks me for spare change, which I would give him, but I don’t carry any. He proceeds to insult me for not even looking into my purse. At the main station I buy another coffee and a serving of oatmeal with apples and nuts (-9.20 €), before I take the high speed train to the city of Düsseldorf. I had already booked all of my train tickets several weeks ago and the price was reimbursed by the producer of the project I’m working for. On the train, I finish listening to “Didion & Babitz” on Audible, one of the few platforms I have a subscription for.3 Then I read some emails, which I leave unresponded and work on a Substack post I’ve been putting off for some time. I somehow regret bringing my iPad with me (instead of my laptop), because it’s more difficult to type and edit drafts on it. Yet I slowly get into a flow state and manage to work on my text for a solid hour, before I have to change trains. When I arrive in the town of Gelsenkirchen, I run into my friends R and F, who just got off the train inbound from Frankfurt. This is a cool coincidence, because these are the people I came here to work with, yet we planned to meet directly at the theatre. I buy a hot cocoa and a börek with feta cheese (-4.20 €) from a snack bar at the station.
1PM - We walk to the local municipal theatre where I visit the costume archive to pick up some pieces for our show, and then I meet the directors of the costume department and masks department and their assistants. We discuss the project I’ll be making costumes for and make agreements on how to proceed and keep in touch. Then I join my friends on the rehearsal stage, where they are casting an actor for the piece.
6PM - As all of our scheduled meetings at the theater are done, we go catch the train to Frankfurt. We get some beer at the train station (-2 €) and then more drinks on the long distance train. My Gin and Tonic is free of charge, because my friend has a frequent traveller status on the German railway, which grants him some free drinks on board. On the train, we chat and get a little bit tipsy. We say goodbye at Frankfurt Main station.
9PM - I arrive home and my flatmate M has already pre-heated the oven for me. I retrieve a frozen pizza from the refrigerator and bake it. The apartment is freezing cold. We all try to watch our heating habits, because the cost of heat has skyrocketed since the beginning of the war in Ukraine. M and I chat and gossip a little bit. I keep myself awake until my boyfriend comes to my place after work, around 1am.
INCOME: +0.00
SPENDING: -18.60 €
Thursday, November 28
~10AM - I wake up from a night of nightmares. I sleep in a little bit but not too much, because today I have to work a shift at the airport and I want to get some artistic work done before I have to leave the house. The fridge is empty, but we still have coffee. In the morning I work on some drafts, write a couple of emails: generic freelance work. I feel exhausted from all the travelling and working. For lunch we eat buckwheat with butter and two eggs. I put on my uniform: a long sleeve, button-down shirt, a knee-length skirt, a sheer pantyhose, a blazer, soft leather pumps and a neck scarf, all in a deep navy-blue shade; I grab my airport badge and quickly apply some concealer, blush and lipstick. Then I leave for the airport.
3PM - In the subway station, I buy a cappuccino and a cinnamon bun (-4.90 €). The bun is undercooked and I can taste the yeast inside of it, but I eat it anyway because I cannot deal with wasting food–subsequently, I get a stomach ache. I work for different airlines as a check-in and gate agent. My shift goes well, miraculously. No major issues. I’m glad to chat with my colleagues.
8:30PM - I ride the bus back home. When I get there, my boyfriend has bought groceries, but I grow impatient waiting for the frozen Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes to warm up. It’s almost 11pm already. We watch the daily news on my iPad, then go to bed.
INCOME: +0.00
SPENDING: -4.90 €
Friday, November 29
10AM - I sleep in again. My shift begins a bit earlier today, I have to be at work by 2pm already. I feel like I need to slow down a little bit, so after one hour of writing, I prepare an apple pie and soup. Both are made of scraps and leftovers I find around the kitchen–I don’t have enough butter for the pie, so I spike it with olive oil. I substitute heavy cream with coconut milk and I have just enough eggs (2) to make this experiment come to fruition. Both pie and soup turn out delicious, if not very pretty.
12:30PM - I eat lunch rather quickly and then I leave for work.
5PM - As I get a bit hungry after 2-3 hours working, I buy a coffee and pretzel (-4.88 €). Since I work here, I get 10-20% off everything in the airport shops and restaurants, yet everything is so expensive that the discount is barely sensible.
7PM - Thank God my last flight has no delay, so I clock out on time. On the train home I meet two colleagues I haven’t seen in ages and we chat. The thing with being a shift worker at one of the biggest airports in the country is that you have hundreds of colleagues, yet sometimes you don’t meet for weeks, even months, if your shift plans don’t align. So I’m glad we could catch up, although briefly.
9PM - It’s friday night and I am home alone, so I text my friends’ group chat. F and R invite me to their home, and so I leave again after changing clothes. On my way, I get 2 bottles of Coca-Cola (-5 €) from a kiosk and a two-way ticket for the suburban train because they live in the neighboring city of Offenbach (-6.35 €). I also bring an open bottle of gin I’d bought the previous week. We sit in their living room until 2am, listening to music and chatting. My boyfriend also joins after attending a concert earlier that night. My subscription fee for the Paramount+ channel on Amazon Prime gets deducted from my credit card account (-7.99 €). I make a mental reminder to finish watching the third season of Twin Peaks so I can cancel my subscription.
2AM - We take the train back home and go straight to bed.
INCOME: +0.00
SPENDING: -24.22 €
Saturday, November 30
9AM - Although the sun is shining and the weather is perfect–cold, crisp and bright–I desperately need to clean my apartment, or at least my room, before my shift begins. I spend the morning cleaning and tidying up. I also buy some groceries: milk, broccoli, bell pepper, eggplant, eggs, feta cheese, dill, tangerines, bananas, chickpea pasta (-20.44 €).
12PM - I cook something simple–a pad thai inspired dish with rice, egg, corn and a lot of oyster sauce.
3PM - I rush to work just in time. On my way, I buy some chewing gum (-1.90 €). My shift today is only 3.5 hours long. A colleague gifts me a candy bar, another colleague brought a birthday cake and another one left some candy in the shift supervisor’s office to celebrate the birth of his first child. I also get a bottle of diet coke for free from our break lounge. My shift goes well. I work at the check-in counter for a long-haul flight to Kazakhstan, then at the gate. Easy going and stress-free. I even have some time to chat with colleagues and passengers.
7:30PM - After work, I change my clothes at the airport and then ride the subway to the city centre, where I go see the new play a friend of mine directed. I buy the ticket for the play from the theatre website (-7 €). When I get to the theatre, everybody’s already inside and the doors are closed, but they still let me in. The play is very good and I meet a lot of friends and colleagues after the show. Some of them were also performing on stage. We sit in the theatre bar and get some drinks together. Some friends I haven’t met in months, for we’re all working on different projects all the time. I drink two glasses of Riesling (-13 €).
1AM - By the time I walk home, I’m a bit tipsy. My boyfriend joins me in bed with a takeaway pizza, I tell him about the show and then we fall asleep.
INCOME: +0.00
EXPENSES: -42.34 €
Sunday, December 1
11AM - I spend the beginning of Sunday in bed, writing and chatting with my boyfriend. When I get up, I make some food and clean the kitchen. I’ve taken 6 days unpaid leave from work because I’ll be attending the rehearsals of the project I’ll be making costumes for. The end rehearsals are going to start in January and by that time, I’ll already have terminated my employment at the airport. Beginning next year, I’ll try to get along with my freelancing jobs only. The production assistant of the piece sends me a text reminding me to write an invoice. The invoice amounts to 750 €–it’s theoretically for the amount of hours I will work next week, but actually for the whole work I’ve done for this project this year. Out of curiosity, I check out my statistics on the Clockify app, where I religiously log my working hours for freelance projects. I’ve been working about 27 hours on these costumes already. Next week I’ll be working full time–around 8 hours a day for 5 days. Also I’ll have some more meetings and some email work before Christmas. Considering I’ll also have to pay taxes (as a freelancer), it becomes obvious that my earning is below minimum wage. But I’m still at the beginning of my career and I work with a collective of friends that I admire and respect and with whom I am allowed to create, to express myself and experiment artistically. So I’m happy to do this work, even if it makes me poorer.
Reflecting on this, it dawns on me that I’ve made a very conscious choice towards prioritizing certain desires and goals and renouncing other ones: I never have enough time for my family, I will never become a mother, I can’t afford luxurious vacations, a car or any property. I have made it my priority to have enough time for artistic work and collecting professional experience in this field while I’m still young. Although I live in a shared flat with the heaters constantly turned off, I’m still privileged enough to be able to get along for the time being. The effort I’m putting in right now is my investment for the future–if there is any future at all–I don’t have a proper retirement plan (yet), but I want to trust my work.
3PM - I do some work at the computer and draft my invoice.
6PM - I once again leave for F and R’s house and buy a monthly subscription for the public transport, since I’ll be having to travel to different towns more frequently from December on (-49 €). F and R have organized a dinner with all the members of the theatre production we’re collectively working on. During the dinner, we’re going to talk about the upcoming rehearsal week and draft a rehearsal plan. F has cooked some delicious Chinese food. After discussing work, we sit in the living room and enjoy a couple of drinks. I get home by 11pm and go straight to bed.
INCOME: +750.00 €
SPENDING: -49.00 €
Summary
INCOME: +900.00 €
SPENDING: -239.09 €
Now that it’s the end of the year, I can finally see how the juggling between all these different occupations has been slowly driving me to insanity. I’ve been crying every single day of the week, mostly out of exhaustion. At the same time, I can also see the positive side: how much time I get to spend with my friends (how many times have I mentioned F and R!) and the fact that I get to work creatively and even get paid for it, even if it’s not enough to cover my basic monthly expenses. I’m honored to have so many inspiring and talented people around me and that they are also able to support and help me out if I’m in a crisis.
Somehow, I applied for both of my “normal” jobs (at the airport and with my client) in an emergency, as I was running out of money and needed to pay rent. These jobs were a desperate measure to face the abrupt end of an era. I have been working double shifts to make ends meet the whole summer. Now, slowly transitioning into full-time artistic work, I finally see what I put myself through. I feel the urgency to move on. Most of all, both my “normal” jobs are centered around service and care for others. All of my jobs are fine on their own, yet I’m constantly working, jumping from one shift to the other, writing drafts in between and going to bed with the fear of having forgotten something. I never really get to take a break and it’s getting harder to see the bigger picture. I’m looking forward to the times when I’ll look back at these years with ease.
Chiara Marcassa is a freelance writer, costume designer, and theatre maker. She holds an MA in Applied Theatre Studies from Gießen University. Chiara writes essays, drama, and short fiction in both German and English. Born and raised in Venice, Italy, she is now based in Frankfurt, Germany.
It was a scholarship for foreign students who wanted to enroll at a German university, awarded by the German Academic Exchange Service (DAAD).
For the sake of simplicity, tips are always included in the price I noted in this money diary. I always tip at least 10% because I’m a service industry worker too.
Here’s a brief overview of all my subscriptions: Apple Music -10.99 €, iCloud storage -2.99 €, Amazon Prime -8.99 €, Audible -9.95 €, Paramount+ -7.99 € (unsubscribing soon). Total: -40.91 €/month.
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